Ramadan is here. And it feels like just yesterday we wrapped up last Ramadan. The spiritual high and that excitement for Eid. The tests I faced last eid so freshly embedded in my mind. The hurts I endured.
And then a whole year just passed by; a million opportunities to please Him, some taken and some missed.
Here I am, while the first Maghrib of this blessed month is being called, sitting by my Window, feeling nervous, anxious and unready. Multiple Adhaain being called like the world is in a hurry to grab all the good from this month, while here I am, wanting to slow things down. Slow down time, I am not ready. Slow down everyone, I feel overwhelmed. Slow down Sam, just let it be.
I enter Ramadan emotionally drained, physically tired and spirituallly as low as I can ever be.
But that's exactly why this month has come to be again, for my growth. To water and bring life to my heart again, to be able to grow and nourish myself and my family for the rest of the year. Here I am, looking at all my faults, all the shortcomings of my self and soul wanting to work on them one by one; to bring about a better me. Like a new beginning, a fresh start again,Today has given me hope to a new life. To restart with everything and make it better. Work on my faults, improve my talents, make the best of time and health and live life to the fullest until it is taken away.
Ramadan; what a beautiful Mercy from our Lord.
I start here, my Rabb, using Your Mercy to rejuvenate again.
I seek You with all my heart, even though I'm really far now, I know and believe you'll never let me get lost.
Entering Ramadan, I imagine entering this beautiful garden confused by the choices of flowers to pick and overwhelmed by its beauty and opportunities. So I sit here first and enjoy its aroma..I let the surrounding colors and smell get absorbed into my skin, my heart and soul. And then I get up and pick them one by one leading myself to the path where I'll build more gardens. 🌹
#ramadanwriting #ramadanwritingchallenge
Bloom where you're planted?
Often I'm told, "Bloom where you're planted." Yes. But flowers, they need the right environment to bloom. Or else they die. And stink. Yes, flowers can stink.
Don't be the reason for it. If we really want a flower to bloom, we've got to do our part in nourishing it.
More than often, if you want someones true potential to bloom, you've got to appreciate their efforts. You've got to show pride in their works. That's how they keep getting better.
Looking back at my childhood, I've noticed that most of my milestones and achievements have been due to the way my parents and mentors appreciated my works, efforts or me. It's amazing how one positive comment could lift up my childs enthusiasm and improve his ability to try again! Its so common to taunt and tease children and mock them telling them they can't do it. Adults do this to adults too! I despise it. I would never imagine the Prophet SAW do this. Every little thing that I was mocked at, during my childhood, are things I have a complex for now. This is not how we let people grow; be it our children, others children, students, friends, spouses or anyone.
This reminds me of Allah's beautiful name and attribute ; AsShakoor. The Most Appreciative.
Where He does exactly this - appreciate. Appreciate what?
He appreciates our efforts. Everything we do, intending to gain His pleasure, is not forgotten.
So if you've remained silent, patient instead of getting angry, if you've silently waited for your dreams to come true while enduring other hardships to it, its also a way of attaining rewards manifold. " 'Shukr' is defined as recognizing and appreciating when good is done. Shakoor in Arabic is also used to describe an animal that is given little food but gives back much. So it revolves around receiving something, even if small, and giving back much because of it.
Al-Ghazali tells us that ash-Shakoor is “the one who rewards the practice of a few pious deeds many-fold, and in response to the action of a few days, gives limitless happiness in the life to come. (cont in comments)
Whats that numb feeling. Of wanting to and not wanting to pray, of a feeling quiet away from the self. A drag emptiness and some solace in sadness? Of a weird longing for the unknown.
Sometimes, you don't know what it is. There may be no word for what you feel. So you don't know what solution to seek.
Just pray.
It may not be the time for prayer yet but take the mat and pray. Not coz you *have* to. But coz you don't know how to fix your soul.
Stand there. And imagine yourself turning to Him. And Him getting back to you in a bigger way. Leave all that stress. Breathe.
Sometimes.. all you need is hope in that one sincere prayer of yours, where you ask Him to take care of your heart.
"I don't understand the state of my heart today ya Allah." Tell Him; you don't want to, but you did. Seek Him. Say, "I leave myself and my soul in your care. I don't know what it needs. But I trust You do. You cared. I submit." Sometimes we just have to admit all our weaknesses and seek our strength in submitting to Him. Believe; His promise is He'd come running if we took a step walking.
Take that weak step. Crawl even. He'll have your back. :') One step at a time. One day at a time. Dont look too far ahead. Yet, don't look behind ever. Just keep going. Start afresh! Its a new day today. You've woken up and gotten another chance at life. Grab it.
Picture: @prayanywhere
My life could have been much more harder than this. To handle two babies under two, one constantly needing to bf and the other down with fever, flu and croup. But being with family has surely given me more hands while I'm handful. Even my little brother in law (and my father in law) manages to hold the baby and put him to sleep while I'm concentrating on Ahmed. They don't HAVE to do all this. But they do so. And I'm forever grateful for that.
One of Allah's names and attributes is AsShakoor. It means being grateful, appreciative. I always wondered why would Allah swt ever, like EVER need to be grateful? And How do I really Live with this name of his? His name AsShakoor is a solace, a piece of comfort during hard times; especially when noone noticed our hardships and patience, that He has.
To live with His name asShakoor, we must never forget the favours done upon us by Him, or by others. Often times, we forget our loved ones favours upon us when they displease us with something. In that moment, we spark and make them feel unappreciated. Even if we didnt mean to, they'd end up feeling our ungratefulness for all that they did for us. There are times we get really hurt with peoples words, but how you deal with that is by asking AsShakoor to help you to never show ingratitude to those especially during sensitive times. It.helps to stay resilient and actually in a way strengthens your bond with them. Try it next time when you're about to burst out of anger. The next stage is to practice gratitude by giving them back in other ways.
When you try to live with the names of Allah SWT, you gradually beautify your flawed heart. And that, is a beautiful journey to embark on. :)
Its heart breaking to see your ever enthusiastic baby to be sick. But as Allah SWT has promised in His beautiful words 'verily with every difficulty, there is ease', I surely find ease with my difficulty today. I find it in my family. #Alhamdulillah
'And if you thank me, I'll increase you in blessings'
Its only day 3 of my writing challenge and I'm feeling it therapeutic already, to find what am I grateful for everyday.
May Allah make us from amongst those whose hearts are not turned to please anyone save HIM!
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