‘I know you are trying your best, dear. And that’s all that matters.’
A phrase ALL of us yearn to hear in almost every point of our lives; when we are in school we want to hear our teachers say that they have seen our effort, instead of looking down upon us without understanding our different capabilities, in college from colleagues when we try our best in whatever endeavor we undertake and perhaps might go through a few pits and downfalls on our way to accomplishing ‘the great’, when we are trying to follow our passion but failing to find a place in our dream company, in our relationships when we are the middle glue between our parents and our in laws conflict, or our parents and our siblings, or just between two friends who have fought; trying to reconcile between them and instead falling into being called the ‘bad one’ in the end and so on..
Quite a few of us think A LOT; Contemplate on every act in our relationships, ponder over consequences of different options of responses and carefully work on our behavior, tirelessly fulfilling the subconscious goals we’ve set in our minds. For most, these goals would be to gain the pleasure of a teacher, mentor, a loved one, a parent, a child, or a sibling. Nevertheless, the common ground in everyone’s goal is –‘to gain their pleasure; To see them happy.’ And when that goal isn’t met, our world comes crumbling down to pieces.
And in that moment of breaking down mentally, after giving all we could to ensure the pleasure of all who matter in our lives yet feeling like we miserably failed in so many ways, THIS is what we want to hear; from them or at least from one of our closest companions who see what we’re going thru- ‘I know you are trying your best’.
I never knew what empathy was until I was dragged down through situations to crave for it. Empathy is a person’s ability to put themselves in your shoe, and recognize what you’re feeling; NOT from their perspective, but from the window of your eyes. Showing care and concern to someone is called sympathy (and not empathy) and this is something most of us confuse with.
When one empathizes with you, they see the pain you go through, through your eyes; they stand on that same ground of emotional state you are in and sense almost exactly what your thoughts could be. And then they tell you something that stirs comfort within your inner soul. When they do that, you know it.
You know it because it’s a comfort; a solution; a feeling of ‘not being alone’ that your subconscious heart yearned for.
So when here’s the human heart craving for someone to empathize with every test it endures (it’s in its nature to do so), why not step up the game and imagine and crave for the attention of the king of all kings, the closest of all those who are close – Allah SWT?
Why not crave for Him to tell us on that day, “You tried your best dear! I have seen it, and I have seen its for My pleasure, and I appreciate it and I am pleased with you, ya ‘ibaadi”….
“[And it will be said], ‘Indeed, this is for you a reward, and your effort has been appreciated.’” (Qur’an, 76:22)
That He may give them in full their rewards and increase for them of His bounty. Indeed, He is Forgiving and Appreciative. (Qur’an, 35:30)
Here we have Allah SWT who knows every pain we feel. When we fail to see the results of our effort, we tend feel like a failure, like it was all a waste of time. Yet, He tells us-
“And never is your Lord forgetful…” (Qur’an, 19:64)
When one is trying to work on their relationships with family members but to no avail, remember that Allah SWT knows your pain. He will not let any of your efforts go forgotten. Feeling so lost after losing your unborn child or your baby after giving birth even though everyone else has moved on, you find it so hard to be strong? If you are trying to pass that hard subject of a course you dreamed to study, a career your passionate about and it is SO HARD, you try and try and fail, you are looked down upon and you want to hide your face, remember He knows what you feel.
That’s the beauty of this religion; we aren’t all about this world, this dunya. When we fall; when we’re down and when we fail, we just trip. We pick ourselves back again because for us is hope in the hereafter. Not here. We won’t give this dunya the ability to defeat ourselves internally, rather make us only rise in our hope and love of Him. We keep going…We should keep going. Because everything done for His sake, is recorded by Him.
Sameera Hameed 