So she looks pale; tired. Exhausted. Her skin color changes, you don’t understand why she isn’t looking as brilliant as she was before? Her body is warmer, sweatier even when she’s just woken up on a cold winter day? She’s gaining weight; her shape’s changing from that perfect curve that once seemed so attractive. Simple things make her cry. From morning sickness, to cooking for her family, to restless legs, sleepless nights, stretch marks and bigger clothing sizes, she is as conscious and has a self esteem as vulnerable as she ever possibly had. Normal human tasks seem harder; be it folding the heavy bed sheet or simply pouring a bucket of water, it’s heavy! She can’t run as fast as she used to before; the woman you once knew who pushes herself a lot, now wants to just rest? What happened to that girl, that friend, that sister, that wife you once knew before? Oh, she’s been very moody, her mood swings faster than you changed your clothes. She’s been so lazy? No, she’s just tired and wouldn’t want to say it every time she feels ‘lazy’. Her back hurts, almost eternally; standing or sitting, but she won’t sleep in her favorite position as that isn’t what’s best for her child. Oh and that terrible heartburn will NOT stop her from eating for her baby’s needs.
She will make sure your food tastes great; that her family’s needs are met to her best ability. She will not give up even if she has to drink the most tasteless cold coffee since she’s been busy making their tea better. As long as its not for them, she will gulp in anything not caring whether it is tasteless or tasty.
She’s learnt patience and empathy to a degree no one else ever will; unless you carry a being inside and begin to embrace (yes, embrace!) the hormonal, physical and emotional changes you’ve never expected to feel.
She’s scared. Of the responsibility within her. And of that, after her. She knows she has to be careful, she won’t ever want to harm the child EVEN if she was in danger.
One might grow to think this is how she is- emotional (sometimes even call it ‘hormonal’) and take her tears for granted. But every single time she cries, it’s after she’s held too strong…for long. Yet, She will not give up in trying to see you smile, even if she’s on the verge of tears herself. And all she sometimes needs is a hug. A warm embrace of strength, and comforting words.
But that doesn’t mean she is not happy. She is the happiest woman you’ll ever know her to be. To feel the warm cuddly kicks of a living being inside her; to know she is a part of a living miracle! To know she has something precious to put forward for the next generation; To know she has an opportunity, a window to gain ongoing rewards beyond her death bed; To know that she carries a bundle of joy for her family. To know that when her body changes, SHE changes.
To know that the ONE thing that keeps her going isn’t only your love, isn’t any pampering, isn’t anything related to her happiness (yes, of course all that too!), but that the joy of motherhood-to-be keeps her going.
All this, even before she’s a mother! Paradise, indeed lies in her feet.
Sameera Hameed 